Eighteen Is The Legal Age For Marriage, You Know
by PeinSaku
Summary: "Also," his father continued, raising a bit of curiosity in Itachi, "if you're going to take over my position in a few years, you'll need to find a suitable wife." Across the table, Sasuke choked on his breakfast. Mikoto squealed. "Yes! I can't wait to be a grandmother!" — AU. Crack-ish. Prequel to "Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know."


**Sequal is Now out:** Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know

Hey, everybody! When I saw what day it was, I just couldn't help myself! Today (June 9) is Itachi's birthday!! X3 So, in honor of one of my most favorite Akatsuki members, I wrote him a little one-shot! Meh, sorry if you don't like it, but this was a lot of fun to write! Please read and review! :D

* * *

Itachi's eye twitched.

His morning wasn't going well. Uchiha Itachi was, in fact, _extremely_ annoyed, and when Uchiha Itachi is annoyed, bad things happen. Especially when he's annoyed on his birthday.

He was going to make sure that there was hell to pay.

His morning had gone something like this...

.

.

.

DEET!

DEET!

DEET!

Glare.

D-deet?

Itachi sighed and sat up in his bed, switching off his alarm clock. It figured. Even his alarm clock was afraid of him.

He rubbed the back of his neck, popping it effortlessly. Once satisfied, he glanced at the calendar hanging beside his desk. A date was circled hastily with a fine-tipped red marker – a mark which he _knew_ he hadn't made. Judging by the pretty script inside the square for June 9, his mother had done it.

_**Itachi-chan's Birthday!**_

He sighed quietly.

Itachi had no idea why his mother insisted on calling him 'Itachi-chan' – she also called his brother 'Sasuke-chan' – but it was quite annoying. He disliked being referred to as a girl or young child. He was eighteen!

Itachi silently slid his legs from under the covers and stood, making his way to the closet. Without any care whatsoever, he slipped on his school's – Konoha Academy – uniform. A white button-down short-sleeved shirt, an informal black tie, black pants, and black shoes. The school gave them a choice between black pants and gray pants, but he preferred the black. The girls, on the other hand, were forced to wear a gray skirt.

Itachi pulled his dark hair back into a low ponytail with a simple hair band, bangs hanging in front of his eyes. Without so much as a glance in the mirror, the eldest Uchiha walked out of his bedroom. Almost immediately, he ran into a maid.

She squeaked in surprise, trembling in place nervously. Itachi gave her a once-over. Brown hair in a ponytail, green eyes, and a pretty face. She looked to be about his age – surprisingly or not – and he assumed that she had volunteered to work at the Uchiha household. As long as they were at least fourteen – the legal age – the girls were eligible to work as maids.

Itachi didn't particularly like maids. He saw it as low and pathetic that his clan relied on maids and servants when they could do the work themselves; all in all, the Uchiha's were downright arrogant.

Except himself and his mother, he mused. His mother tended to work herself rather than ask the maids for help.

"S-sorry, Uchiha-sama," she stuttered, face flaming red. Itachi raised an eyebrow smoothly. Her blush grew enormously.

_Che. Predictable._

They were all alike. The maids always fawned after the Uchiha's – mostly himself or Sasuke – and, he assumed, it was the only reason they worked for them.

She shot him a bright smile, becoming bolder by the minute. "Happy birthday!" she chirped. Itachi could have rolled his eyes.

"Hn."

As Itachi walked away, not sparing her a glance, she squealed happily, hugging the towels she had been carrying to her chest.

Fangirls.

With a grunt, Itachi descended down the stairs, only to be greeted by the sight of his younger brother. They exchanged a silent look as he walked by, neither bothering to brake the stillness. And then, his brother spoke.

"Itachi."

"Sasuke."

And that was it.

The two brothers parted ways, Itachi to the kitchen and Sasuke to his room. The youngest Uchiha strolled across the living room and disappeared up the stairs. Itachi stepped into the kitchen and was immediately bombarded. He nearly groaned aloud. Was it too much to ask to be left alone?

"Good morning, Itachi-chan!" his mother, Mikoto, said sweetly. "Happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday, Uchiha-sama!" the two cooks chorused, following his mother's lead.

"Hn," Itachi murmured, nodding. "Why is Sasuke up?" His younger brother was usually in bed longer than he was.

Mikoto smiled widely.

"I got him up just a few minutes ago," she explained as they both sat to eat breakfast. Two plates were placed before them. "I received a phone call from the school."

Itachi raised an eyebrow as they both broke their chopsticks, saying the traditional 'Itadakimasu' before beginning to eat. Was his brother in trouble? Not likely, seeing as his mother was smiling.

"You always get up so early, so I decided to let you wake up on your own," she added. "The school called and played an automatic message; I believe they're calling every student from Konoha Academy." She paused politely to chew. "School is going to start an hour early today and get out an hour earlier."

Itachi's chopsticks froze above his plate. Rewind. What?

"Apparently, there's supposed to be a snowstorm later today, and the school doesn't want any of the students to miss their classes." She sighed happily.

The muscle in Itachi's jaw twitched. Why was she so happy? There was _nothing_ exciting about going to school an hour early.

"Oh, can you believe it?!?" she cooed dramatically. "A snowstorm! An actual _snowstorm_!" She sighed in content. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since Konoha had a snowstorm? Or even _snow_, for that matter?"

"Hn. Snow is annoying."

The two glanced at the doorway to see Sasuke walk in. He sat emotionlessly across from his older brother. He didn't have to wait long before a cook set a plate before him. Itachi noticed with annoyance that Sasuke didn't bother to utter 'Itadakimasu' before breaking his chopsticks and eating.

_Always so ungrateful._

"Oh Sasuke-chan, don't say that," Mikoto gushed. "Snow is wonderful! It's beautiful and soft, and it melts on your cheeks!" Sasuke snorted.

"Like I said. Annoying."

Mikoto sighed, shaking her head as she took another bite.

"Honestly, Sasuke. Sometimes I wonder if you're taking too much after your father."

Itachi couldn't help but smirk as Sasuke scowled. Said man entered the kitchen seconds later.

"Morning, Fugaku-kun," his mother greeted brightly as he sat across from her. The four Uchiha's sat in a square pattern. "How did you sleep?"

He grunted. "Fine."

Itachi could almost hear his mother's thoughts of '_Of course. Like always._' His lips twitched in amusement.

"So, Itachi."

The eldest Uchiha brother glanced at his father, who hadn't bothered to look up from his newspaper.

"Today's your eighteenth birthday, is it not?"

"Hn."

Fugaku finally looked at him over the paper. "Soon, you will be inheriting the Uchiha family business," he announced. "I think it's about time you spent a few days at my work."

Itachi was surprised, but didn't dare let it show. His father didn't take too well to emotions. Mikoto swelled with pride and beamed at her oldest son.

"Also," his father continued, raising a bit of curiosity in Itachi, "if you are going to take over my position in a few years, you will need to find a suitable wife."

Across the table, Sasuke choked on his breakfast. He coughed roughly while Mikoto patted his back. Itachi went completely still.

"I expect another heir someday, Itachi," his father said seriously. "If you cannot do so, Sasuke will take over."

This made his younger brother cough even harder. At this time, his mother decided to cut in.

"Yes!" she agreed cheerfully. "I can't wait to be a grandmother!"

Itachi felt like slamming his head against the table. His family was _impossible_.

"I understand, father," he bit out stiffly, suddenly losing his appetite.

Fugaku nodded and returned his attention to the newspaper. "Good."

Itachi stood up suddenly, wishing to leave his parents' presence.

"Is something wrong, Itachi-chan?" his mother asked, blinking.

Itachi grunted. "We are going to be late for school." Sasuke was standing in an instant, more than ready to flee from the room. An amused smirked tugged at his lips. It seemed they had more in common than he thought.

As the two brothers exited the kitchen swiftly, Itachi faintly heard his mother's protests of, "But you still have half an hour! And you didn't even finish your breakfast!"

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair, grabbing his backpack. Itachi took his as well, and the two walked out of the large house.

"Mother and Father are too pushy," he muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Itachi 'hn'ed in agreement.

The two brothers walked to school in silence, content with not speaking. When they reached the school, Itachi automatically knew that something was wrong. There was no one outside – even if it _was_ twenty minutes before classes started – and there was a lot of noise from inside.

They exchanged a look, confirming the others' suspicions. Something was definitely wrong. Itachi pulled open the door and instantly saw the source of the noise. It was a fight.

The two Uchiha's slipped in quietly, melting into the crowd to see who it was. Unfortunately, though, the fangirls still caught them.

"Hiii, Itachi-kuuun!!" was all the warning he received before a girl with honey-colored hair launched herself on him.

.

.

.

And so, was Itachi's predicament.

He absolutely _despised_ fangirls. In fact, he wasn't sure if there was anything else in the world that he disliked as much as them. The worst thing about fangirls...they tended to attack in groups.

"Itachi-kun!!"

"Oh, HI, Itachi-kuuun!"

"Iiiita-kuuuun~!!"

His eye twitched. At least Sasuke wasn't much better off.

"Get off of me," he growled lowly, peeling a girl off his back.

She pouted. "Aw, Itachi-kuuun!" she whined.

He grunted and shook a girl off his arm, who was – thankfully – the last one in contact with his body.

"What's going on?" he demanded, ignoring the girl's pleas.

"Oh!" she squeaked. "There's some new girl, here!" His eyebrow hitched up.

"And?"

The girl scowled. "She yelled at one of the Akatsuki for tripping her and calling her a name or something, and now she's trying to _fight_ him!"

His eyes widened slightly.

_What? Is she insane?_

Itachi fought his way through the crowd, pushing away the fangirls, and sure enough, the girl had been true to her word.

A girl with chin-length pale pink hair was currently attached to Hidan's back, strangling him from behind. Her mint-green eyes burned with fury, while Hidan struggled to throw her off. With his face beginning to turn purple, the Jashinist got a grip on her arms and slammed the girl into the ground.

"Ugh!" she grunted, gritting her teeth.

The girl rolled out of the way just in time to avoid having her face bashed in by a size thirteen shoe. Hidan growled angrily and kicked her in the side, sending her skidding across the floor. The girl scrambled to her feet and, before Hidan could react, slammed her shoulder into his chest.

Hidan gasped as the air was knocked from his lungs and stumbled back. She drew her fist back and, with a battle cry, punched him flat-out in the face. The side of his face smashed against the lockers behind him and he slid to the floor in a groaning heap of pain. The girl took a step back, breathing slightly irregular, her eyes flashing defiantly.

"Little...bitch, ugh," Hidan muttered, rubbing his jaw.

To say Itachi was surprised would be an understatement. He was so shocked, in fact, that he _almost_ showed it on his face. Almost.

One of his friends – a blond named Deidara – roared with laughter.

"She kicked your ass, yeah!" he called, clutching his stomach. Kisame chuckled roughly.

"Shut up, pansy-ass!" Hidan snapped. He glared darkly at the girl. "I'm gonna_ kill_ your ass, bitch!"

The girl lifted her chin challengingly. He could see it in her eyes: _'Just come over here and try it.'_

Itachi couldn't help but smirk. Well, _this_ was interesting. It wasn't every day that Hidan had his ass handed to him – by a _girl_, no less. Hidan was one of the best street fighters in their group, Akatsuki; he could even challenge Itachi, himself. _No one_ messed with Akatsuki; it was just a given rule. Except this girl, he mused.

This girl was interesting, he'd give her that. She was obviously brave – or insane – since she fought hand-to-hand with Hidan, not counting the fact that she had actually _won_.

Yes, he decided. This new girl was _definitely_ interesting.

"That is enough, Hidan."

Pein's order snapped Itachi out of his thoughts. The silver-haired senior scowled and climbed to his feet, wiping away a small trail of blood from his bottom lip with the back of his fist.

"I'll see _you_ later, bitch," he threatened. The girl squared her shoulders, chin held high.

"Any time, bastard," she shot back.

Insane. _Definitely_ insane.

Hidan glared dangerously. He turned away and stalked over to Kakuzu, muttering something along the lines of 'bitch...dead...shovel...'. Pein, on the other hand, turned directly to the girl.

"I apologize for Hidan's behavior," he murmured. The girl snorted. "Who are you?"

"I believe it is customary for one to give his own name before asking it of another," she mumbled.

And smart, too. Itachi was becoming more interested by the minute. Pein let out an amused chuckle.

"Yes, I believe so," he agreed. "I am Reiame Pein, and I am the leader of Akatsuki."

She quirked a delicate eyebrow. "Akatsuki?"

Murmurs of surprise echoed through the crowd around them, reminding Itachi that they had yet to leave. A few caught his ear.

"She doesn't know who the _Akatsuki_ are?!?"

"She must be stupid!"

He smirked. She obviously wasn't a typical girl.

"Our group," Pein replied, drawing out an arm in a sweeping motion to indicate the seniors behind him. Itachi took that moment to join his companions.

She gave a short nod. "I'm Haruno Sakura," the girl greeted formally. "Though, I can't say that I enjoyed meeting you all." Both Pein and Itachi smirked while Deidara snickered. Hidan sent her a seething glare. "Why, may I ask, is it that you requested my name?"

"You are very intelligent, I see, Haruno-san," Pein said, echoing Itachi's thoughts. "You are new to this school, are you not?"

"And?"

Pein paused for a moment to allow a smirk to spread on his lips. "Perhaps you would like to join us for your lunch period."

Surprise flickered in her eyes and many people gasped. Zetsu and Kisame took it upon themselves to get rid of the crowd.

"What?!?" Hidan yelled, whipping around. "HELL no!!"

Sakura watched him coolly. "I believe that Pein-san is the Leader, correct, Hidan-san?"

A vein popped on his forehead at her taunt. "You little–!!"

"Enough, Hidan," Pein repeated sternly, cutting him off. "I believe that she has what it takes to be an Akatsuki." He glanced back at her. "Though, I must press that fighting will not be tolerated amongst us."

Sakura failed to conceal her amused expression. "I see," she murmured. By this time, the entire crowd was gone and classes were due to start in less than ten minutes. "What lunch period are you in?"

"We are all in fourth lunch," Pein replied. "The standard lunch period for all seniors."

She laughed dryly. "But of course," Sakura said. "Too bad I'm not a senior."

Itachi's eyebrows lifted in surprise. Now that he actually took a minute to consider it, she seemed too short to be a senior. Kisame voiced nearly an exact replica of his thoughts aloud.

Sakura glared at him. "Some of us aren't freakishly tall," she snapped, receiving a glare in return. Before Kisame could retort back, Pein spoke.

"What grade, pray tell, _are_ you in, Haruno-san?" he inquired, gray eyes unreadable. Sakura sighed through her nose.

"I'm a freshman."

It was quiet for a moment, and then Kisame and Deidara howled with laughter.

"A _freshman_?!?" Kisame choked out. "No _wonder_ you're so short! You're practically a _midget_!!" Sakura scowled. Deidara, on the other hand...

"You got your ass kicked by a _freshman girl_, yeah!!" he shouted, hysterical tears pouring from the corners of his eyes.

"Shut up, pansy-ass!" Hidan yelled. "I could kick your fucking transvestite ass ANY day!"

"What did you say, yeah?!?"

Itachi ignored the bickering pair, instead settling for watching Sakura. She appeared to be caught between anger and amusement. The bell rang, signaling that the group was late for their first classes, but he paid it no heed. Itachi smirked as he recalled the conversation with his father from that morning, walking smoothly up to the girl. Sakura glanced at him in surprise, smiling a moment later.

_I don't think you have to worry, Father. Finding a wife will be manageable._ "Hello. My name is Uchiha Itachi."


End file.
